so i had this huge revelation of this thing in my life that hasn't been a thing but from now on is definitely a thing . . in my life .
it's something i've never really made a habit of , that now i am pursuing and practicing that it would become my new normal - natural . constant . innate . a ' thing ' as if it was never not a thing .
waiting on The Lord ::
intentionally asking and inviting Him in to specific details of my life .
what does He think ?
what does He say ? about me . . it . . them . .
He is the huge uncontainable indefinable infinite God - - who sees , is in , and cares about every practicality .
Lord , do i want to work out ? or do i want to take a nap . . do i want to go to grit ? or do i want to go to yoga . . do i want to watch aladdin or beauty and the beast ?
Lord , what do you want me to say or not say to this person .
Jesus , i'm feeling rejected right now . . what do you say ?
God , that hurt and i'm angry . . i don't know what i need but you do . . speak to me .
Holy Spirit , let's go on an adventure . . should i turn left or right here ? straight ? oh yeah , or that too . .
Lord , so and so drives me nuts . . help me see them as you do , give me grace , and how can i make healthy boundaries with them , what do those look like ?
Should i buy a dog ? can i buy a dog ? what kind ? what should we name it ?!
God , i do **fill in the blank** and i know it's not good for me , i don't want to do it but i can't stop ! why ? what do i think it's accomplishing for me ? what am i not trusting or believing about You ? what is the lie i'm believing about myself . . .
i get so excited about something , or afraid , or upset and i lay it before Him , spill it all , and ask//beg Him to show up , to rescue me , to move . . . i bring Him my frenzy [ which often tends to just multiply itself in the process ] and then forget to ask and wait for Him to respond so rather than 'leaving' with His Voice , with Peace , with His Heart . . . i 'leave' more burdened and distraught .
the real kicker is that then i become frustrated He 'isn't answering' . that nothing is changing . that i'm not free . when that is in fact , not at all the reality of what's going on .
most of the time , we are talking at God . . when there is so much more available to us . . the invitation to - His desire that we would - talk with Him .
there is so much Grace for this . it is a habit we have to practice , learn , instill in ourselves. it does not come naturally and so where i could turn that frustration on to myself and feel guilty and ashamed , instead , i accept the Grace and really , am giddy with excitement to now have realized such an 'oh duh' thing , giggle at myself , thank Him for the revelation . it is not a hindsight realization to be guilty about but a gateway into exponentially more freedom and intimacy .
we all have to learn it . we all have to pursue it . forget how long it may have taken to get here . . i'm here now and am way more concerned with what it means for the rest of my life . just days in and everything is so different . so new . so alive .
my own voice is so weak and powerless but when i come under His . . . we are unstoppable .
if God is for us , who can be against us ? [ romans 8 : 31 ]
He's always been for us . . . for me . but to read the words is one thing . to know a fact is great . but to experience the reality personally ? fact becomes solidified and tangible truth no longer just floating around through your head but now deeply rooted , the very blood flowing , in your heart .
hear-say is doubtable .
first hand experience is inarguable .
today is only day 3 of living in this new discipline and my entire life is completely different . i am completely different .
i know discipline has a negative connotation and sounds overbearing but i could never even tell you fully or fairly or anywhere near completely , the Freedom i feel . the Peace . the Joy . the weightlessness .
all of the things i have begged , pleaded , and cried for . . wrestled and fought for only to come up anxious frustrated and confused as to why i didn't have them .
living for The Spirit . craving His fruit [ galatians 5 : 22 - 23 ] . . yet feeling so empty handed and lacking .
we can lay our lives out before Him all day every day but the game changer is whether or not we leave it there .
it's something i've never really made a habit of , that now i am pursuing and practicing that it would become my new normal - natural . constant . innate . a ' thing ' as if it was never not a thing .
waiting on The Lord ::
intentionally asking and inviting Him in to specific details of my life .
what does He think ?
what does He say ? about me . . it . . them . .
He is the huge uncontainable indefinable infinite God - - who sees , is in , and cares about every practicality .
Lord , do i want to work out ? or do i want to take a nap . . do i want to go to grit ? or do i want to go to yoga . . do i want to watch aladdin or beauty and the beast ?
Lord , what do you want me to say or not say to this person .
Jesus , i'm feeling rejected right now . . what do you say ?
God , that hurt and i'm angry . . i don't know what i need but you do . . speak to me .
Holy Spirit , let's go on an adventure . . should i turn left or right here ? straight ? oh yeah , or that too . .
Lord , so and so drives me nuts . . help me see them as you do , give me grace , and how can i make healthy boundaries with them , what do those look like ?
Should i buy a dog ? can i buy a dog ? what kind ? what should we name it ?!
God , i do **fill in the blank** and i know it's not good for me , i don't want to do it but i can't stop ! why ? what do i think it's accomplishing for me ? what am i not trusting or believing about You ? what is the lie i'm believing about myself . . .
i get so excited about something , or afraid , or upset and i lay it before Him , spill it all , and ask//beg Him to show up , to rescue me , to move . . . i bring Him my frenzy [ which often tends to just multiply itself in the process ] and then forget to ask and wait for Him to respond so rather than 'leaving' with His Voice , with Peace , with His Heart . . . i 'leave' more burdened and distraught .
the real kicker is that then i become frustrated He 'isn't answering' . that nothing is changing . that i'm not free . when that is in fact , not at all the reality of what's going on .
most of the time , we are talking at God . . when there is so much more available to us . . the invitation to - His desire that we would - talk with Him .
there is so much Grace for this . it is a habit we have to practice , learn , instill in ourselves. it does not come naturally and so where i could turn that frustration on to myself and feel guilty and ashamed , instead , i accept the Grace and really , am giddy with excitement to now have realized such an 'oh duh' thing , giggle at myself , thank Him for the revelation . it is not a hindsight realization to be guilty about but a gateway into exponentially more freedom and intimacy .
we all have to learn it . we all have to pursue it . forget how long it may have taken to get here . . i'm here now and am way more concerned with what it means for the rest of my life . just days in and everything is so different . so new . so alive .
my own voice is so weak and powerless but when i come under His . . . we are unstoppable .
if God is for us , who can be against us ? [ romans 8 : 31 ]
He's always been for us . . . for me . but to read the words is one thing . to know a fact is great . but to experience the reality personally ? fact becomes solidified and tangible truth no longer just floating around through your head but now deeply rooted , the very blood flowing , in your heart .
hear-say is doubtable .
first hand experience is inarguable .
today is only day 3 of living in this new discipline and my entire life is completely different . i am completely different .
i know discipline has a negative connotation and sounds overbearing but i could never even tell you fully or fairly or anywhere near completely , the Freedom i feel . the Peace . the Joy . the weightlessness .
all of the things i have begged , pleaded , and cried for . . wrestled and fought for only to come up anxious frustrated and confused as to why i didn't have them .
living for The Spirit . craving His fruit [ galatians 5 : 22 - 23 ] . . yet feeling so empty handed and lacking .
we can lay our lives out before Him all day every day but the game changer is whether or not we leave it there .
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