' this right here is what makes falling in love so hard ' love doctor Hitch . [[ edited for reader appreciation ]]
further edit . . . ' what makes love so hard '
what if loving someone , not just in a couple relationship but the context of any relationship , is so hard because we've got love all wrong ??
in my humble opinion this is actually not really an if question or a question at all . what i mean by what if is . . .
this is why love is so hard .
we don't have a gosh darn clue what love is and we're going about all the wrong ways to figure it out . we don't even need to figure it out . it's been laid out for us . it's been lived for us .
we've robbed love of what it is and made it shallow .
we've made it insignificant .
we've made it meaningless .
we've made it disposable because we want it to be easy .
but what ' we've made it ' doesn't change what it actually is , as much as we would like to think and make believe other wise .
a couple of weeks ago , before my blog was up , i wrote a post about forgiveness - or lack there of - in my own life [[ you can find it here . . it will also help the picture make sense ]] .
as with anything , The Lord asks us to do our part that we by doing so may allow Him to do His . He is omnipotent but He will never force His power on us against our will and our obedience is not a burden to offer but the acceptance of an invitation into deeper intimacy and freedom ; to have heavy weight lifted off of our shoulders and fresh air breathed into our lungs . i am learning and living it every day . so many instances of needing to forgive where i've chosen to say it while doubting my heart on believing if i meant it .
my part was to say it . His part was to move in me to mean it . to teach me what saying it meant . i didn't think i meant it , because i didn't feel it .
but forgiveness isn't a feeling .
likewise , either is love .
think about it .
what did both love and forgiveness feel like to Jesus ?
it felt like being beaten and broken left bleeding and dying as He hung by ripping flesh penetrated with nails ; skin grating against harsh and splintered wood .
yet He chose .
The Word tells us that our sin grieves Him .
we have the capacity to break His heart , we betray Him , reject Him , and we do it repeatedly .
and yet . . He chose.
to love a person is not to love their actions , their choices , their words , or their grievances against us . it is not to enter in to relationship with every one of them or feel rainbows and butterflies, leaping for joy at the sight or thought of them .
it is to validate the pain they caused , healthily protect ourselves from future offenses from them , all the while seeing them as Jesus sees you ::
valuable .
worthy .
cherished .
irreplaceable .
His .
on purpose .
with purpose .
redeemable .
forgiven .
you see i think we look at the people we don't like or who have hurt us like they suddenly are in our possession . they hurt us and so we suddenly have this special connection and association to them with our hurt and our pain . suddenly we dont' need Jesus in that relationship anymore. they hurt us and so He becomes [ albeit subconciously . . ] irrelevant .
forgiveness . . love . . becomes about them and about us .
but it's not about that at all .
i think of who i need to love and forgive . i see their face , feel what i feel , and stop there .
wrong .
i need to practice thinking of who i need to love and forgive . look up to Jesus and see His face ; look into His eyes and surrender .
it is there that than by experiencing first hand all over again real love my perspective changes and my heart is softened .
it is there that what consumes me is made right again . .
or rather , Who .
further edit . . . ' what makes love so hard '
what if loving someone , not just in a couple relationship but the context of any relationship , is so hard because we've got love all wrong ??
in my humble opinion this is actually not really an if question or a question at all . what i mean by what if is . . .
this is why love is so hard .
we don't have a gosh darn clue what love is and we're going about all the wrong ways to figure it out . we don't even need to figure it out . it's been laid out for us . it's been lived for us .
we've robbed love of what it is and made it shallow .
we've made it insignificant .
we've made it meaningless .
we've made it disposable because we want it to be easy .
but what ' we've made it ' doesn't change what it actually is , as much as we would like to think and make believe other wise .
a couple of weeks ago , before my blog was up , i wrote a post about forgiveness - or lack there of - in my own life [[ you can find it here . . it will also help the picture make sense ]] .
my part was to say it . His part was to move in me to mean it . to teach me what saying it meant . i didn't think i meant it , because i didn't feel it .
but forgiveness isn't a feeling .
likewise , either is love .
think about it .
what did both love and forgiveness feel like to Jesus ?
it felt like being beaten and broken left bleeding and dying as He hung by ripping flesh penetrated with nails ; skin grating against harsh and splintered wood .
yet He chose .
The Word tells us that our sin grieves Him .
we have the capacity to break His heart , we betray Him , reject Him , and we do it repeatedly .
and yet . . He chose.
to love a person is not to love their actions , their choices , their words , or their grievances against us . it is not to enter in to relationship with every one of them or feel rainbows and butterflies, leaping for joy at the sight or thought of them .
it is to validate the pain they caused , healthily protect ourselves from future offenses from them , all the while seeing them as Jesus sees you ::
valuable .
worthy .
cherished .
irreplaceable .
His .
on purpose .
with purpose .
redeemable .
forgiven .
you see i think we look at the people we don't like or who have hurt us like they suddenly are in our possession . they hurt us and so we suddenly have this special connection and association to them with our hurt and our pain . suddenly we dont' need Jesus in that relationship anymore. they hurt us and so He becomes [ albeit subconciously . . ] irrelevant .
forgiveness . . love . . becomes about them and about us .
but it's not about that at all .
i think of who i need to love and forgive . i see their face , feel what i feel , and stop there .
wrong .
i need to practice thinking of who i need to love and forgive . look up to Jesus and see His face ; look into His eyes and surrender .
it is there that than by experiencing first hand all over again real love my perspective changes and my heart is softened .
it is there that what consumes me is made right again . .
or rather , Who .
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