collecting seasons

i used to hate when people talked about ' seasons ' of life .
' i'm just in this season of ______ '
oh please .

it seemed to me to be a cop-out , go-to , cliche , easy christian answer to whatever was currently going on in the life of whoever's mouth the phrase was coming out of . 

see , when i heard the phrase , i heard :: 
' i hate my life right now , it's really hard and none of it makes any sense . i have no idea what God is doing and i'm kind of mad at Him for whatever it is . but watch this thing i can do , i'm going to whip out this phrase and it's going to be like this bandaid i slap over it all and pretend i'm this saintly soul that gets God and am totally cool with whatever it is He wants to do , however He wants to do it , and however long He wants to do it for .
basically , God makes no sense but with this phrase , I will pretend that He does and though no one else understands Him , I actually do . and so , i am in this season of _______  . '

spare me , i don't buy it . 

well , you might be surprised to hear i was a little bitter , hurt , jaded , and really every other synonym that would fit to follow . that whole schpeel that i interpreted from a few simple words ? in reality wasn't what they were implying at all . it was however , everything i was feeling about my own life . ( surprise. ) 
frustrated . stuck . manipulated . controlled . used . 
a doll being pulled and thrown wherever , played with however whomever might choose . 

yet through The Father by His grace , resilience , perseverance , might , and tenderness i have learned to embrace every season , for all that they are in their temporary passings by :: intentional , necessary , purposed , and so much more . 
and they are simply seasons .
they begin and they end and as we whether them , we collect them . 

i have also learned that we will never be brought into our next season if we have not acknowledged and given ourselves fully to the one that we are presently in . 

sometimes the transition is subtle and slow while other times it it is blatant and abrupt .

today i cross a very clear boundary out of my current season and in to the next that awaits me , anticipating my arrival . excited in all of it's glory , solely for me .

' i am lost , but not alone . '

i often feel lost , which tends to lead to feeling alone , but every time i approach the end of a season , it becomes so apparent to me that that was never the case at all and i am freshly reminded , that it never will be ( despite how quickly i will forget this truth , yet again . )

i want to thank those who have loved me in this season in too many ways to adequately communicate and thoroughly recall .

some are meant for a solitary season and some we carry with us from one to the next and my heart is full with those that fit the latter scenario . those that have loved me in all of my forms , in all of my extremes , and who will cross this boundary with me tomorrow , continuing to do the same .  

i also want to thank you for inviting me in to do the same for you . 
location and distance , though helpful are disposable . 
souls are uncontainable . 

when you think of someone , let them know . 
when you see something good in someone , call it out . 
pursue and know that you are worth pursuing . 
speak graciously and share your voice on behalf of the voiceless . 

celebrates the lives around you . submit yourself to be teachable and to live humble . live your life to leave a legacy , one that invites those around you to share it and carry it on . 

http://www.duckanddressing.com

i pray , as was said of the disciples , the world would say of me , 
she has been with Jesus . [ acts 4 : 13 ]

her little brown boy , his little blonde girl .

this . is eli .

he is in every sense of the word , my brother - minus legal technicalities which is of course , least important .
if you were to only ever spend even just point seven seconds with the two of us , you would , with wide eyes and mouth agape , agree more whole heartedly than you thought your whole heart was capable of .
the whole little brother - big sister relationship thing ?  we've got it down pat . arguably even better than any of those which meet the legal standard .

we are loud obnoxious and annoying .
we ' talk to each other ' but really just end up talking over each other and to ourselves .
we play hard and laugh hard .
we are best friends .
he drives me insane and i love him to death .
it would be common and acceptable to say that he tests my patience . but i would like to say that those that test us ? teach us . if we will allow them .
he teaches me patience . he teaches me graciousness
our favorite movie is aladdin  . . .  and we're really good at making banana bread .
he forgets to flush the toilet and i throw a fit about it .
he has , the biggest heart of anyone i know .

we also , are on the hit list of anyone that lives within at least a three mile radius of my house - i'm convinced no one actually killed us this past week because they knew their entertainment would die right along with us .
they may hate us but they also count on us .

we are a traveling show circus as we ride our bikes around the neighborhood playfully arguing , yelling to be heard , singing songs both real and made up , giggling , belly laughing , running in to each other , almost running in to each other , and trying at all costs not to make any old people mad . so we smile and nod believing that fixes everything .

i try to help keep him stay aware of his surroundings and teach him as we go . . successfully about 97% of the time . the other 3% looks a little more like this ::
he's in his state of mumbling crooked riding oblivion . i am following behind .
i notice us approaching an innocent hunched - over old man innocently getting his mail .
i whisper-yell ahead of me :: ' eli , do not scare this old man! '
eli :: ' what?! '
me :: ' don't scare this old man ! '
eli :: ' okay! '
three . . .
   two . . . .
     and with all of the sound and might of his nine - year old body :: ' ROOOOAAARRRRR!!!!! '
straight . for . the old man .
i was horrified . mortified . confounded .

' ELI ?!?!?! '
he bashfully replied with all the genuine innocence of his heart ::
' i thought you said to scare him . . . '

we turned around , introduced ourselves and apologized to bob  . . . . and roared laughing the entire way home and each retelling of the story .

the week goes on and our rides continue .
it rains and i whine about how cold i am . the rain stops and i complain about the humidity .
he detours for every ' U ' shaped driveway and rides through the grass i just got done telling him not to .
we create our own versions of the story behind where the new neighbors came from and who will occupy their home .
i am an incessant bottomless pit of questions . ones that don't allow for vague easy yes or no answers
as rightfully i could claim he tests me , he could argue the same about me .
but i won't . and he wouldn't .

aside from attempting to burn off our energy , our bike rides were also very educational .
all week i learned things and on our rides , would share what i learn and together we would practice and rehearse .
sound of music . only . . . not so graceful classy musical or coordinated .
and bible story .
here's what we learned this week ::

the bible is made up of 66 books and two testaments - the old , which has 39 books , and the new , which has 27 .
it was written over a period of about 1600 years by 40 different authors and in 3 different languages : greek , hebrew , and aramaic .
the 4 gospels are matthew , mark , luke , and john . after that comes acts .
the longest chapter of the bible is psalm 119 and the shortest verse is two words . Jesus wept . you can find it in john .
goliath was the tallest man in the bible standing at 9 1/2 feet tall . he was killed by david .
the oldest man of the bible was named methuselah and he lived to be 969 years old . his dad's name was enoch and both he , and elijah , were taken up to heaven without ever dying .

if you asked that little boy any question regarding any of those facts , he'd have the answer .
and i would like to say too , i just recounted it all from memory too .

we may be dysfunctional , but we bring out the best in each other . we teach each other . we embrace and invite each other and all of our failures , quarks , strengths , and child-likeness .
and to the untrained eye , this picture looks blurry and embarrassing but it's actually my favorite because if ever we could be actually captured , this is what we would look like .

he's my little brother . i'm his big sister .
but despite our ages , sometimes i think it's the other way around .