success as not defined by webster .

what are you hoping for this week ? what are you looking forward to ? what are your goals ?

' i want to make progress ' 

how do you define progress ? 

i had my definition of success radically shifted yesterday through the wisdom and invitation of grace that ultimately is extended to each of us from the very Heart of our Father . 

i teeter on the fine line between hope and daunting terror of the journey and process that surrounds and lies before me . time and time again it has been whispered ' you are right where you need to be ; just be with Jesus , the journey your on is nothing you must do . '

truthfully , it's been and continues to be a wrestling frustration . what a bizarre and unfathomable concept .

how will change happen . . how will anything happen . . if i don't do anything ?

but actually ? it's kind of starting to make sense . . well . . maybe not quite make sense but it is most certainly starting to resonate with me as i practice what i do not understand . to out of faith , just be . to look at Jesus and take each next step He puts in front me .

just as in the way we walk with our feet , we are to walk with our hearts , our souls , and our minds . say it takes ten steps to walk across a room . you cannot take step two if you do not first take step one . you can't get to step ten if you do not take steps one through nine . . and in their exact chronological order . you also can take no combination of multiple steps at the same time . not one and two . not four and seven . etc .

when i was little , i shared a room with my little sister caroline . my bed was closest to the closet door and every night after our parents put us to bed she would watch as i got out of bed , flipped on the closet light and over and over again would flip the switch back off and attempt to beat the speed of light back to my bed which was just out of reach from the wall . 

call it stubborn . call it OCD . competitive . controlling . . call it any number of things . 

it was . . and is . .  probably all of them . 

there is a vast unknown before me only now , i can't even see what exactly i'm reaching for . 

i want to know the end . 

i want to be sure of the end . 

the truth is i do know and i can be . . in faith and the assurance of the Promises and Character of God . . but it certainly isn't tangible or defined . 

the reality is that it hurts . and it is overwhelming . but i come to realize that it has only become overwhelming when i look beyond the one step that is front of me . 

i am Peter walking on the water . i know i'm on the water now . . and i see Jesus before me . . but i can't quite touch Him . maybe if i just stretch a little more . . i know He's on the other side but what about all these steps in between ? 

i start to focus on the steps rather than Jesus and the enormity of what lies before overtakes the infinitcy of The Who who is with me . behind me . before me . 

chaos swirls around me but one glance home and the Peace of His eyes captivates me once again . 

it takes discipline and intentionality to keep them there - to bring them back there how ever often they wander or take the slightest flickering glance else where . 

success . what an inevitable condemnation we've conjured for ourselves . 

let me encourage you that sometimes 'success' is getting up and showing up for what The Lord has placed before you . 

what mercy . what grace . what freedom . what relief .  

i am exactly where i need to be . . . and where i'm at is not just okay and it is not just good but it is perfect . ordained . safe . 

who i am . where i am . is enough . 

' it is not perfection which pleases God , but Faith  ' 

[[ hebrews 11 : 6 ]]

so in the midst of my darkest hours . my deepest pains . my hidden secrets and ripped open - patched up wounds , if i have faith , even that the size of a mustard seed or the borrowed faith of a friend to use the energy i do not have to simply look at him and cry His name , He is pleased . 

if i am willing , He will work .

[[ james 4 : 6 - 10 ]]

i am willing , therefore , He is working .

we are fighting too many battles at once and the fact is that not even one is ours to fight alone . we are to be still and wait on the Lord . to just be with Him as He fights for us .

 [[ exodus 14 : 14 ]]

hemmed in . behind and before .

 [[ psalm 139 : 4 ]]

so . let's ask the question again .

what are your goals this week ?

these are mine . 

step out of your striving and see just what a deadly and unnecessary burden you've been carrying .